A List of My Adulting Fails

I’m definitely an adult. I am 32, I have kids and a mortgage and three jobs, there’s nothing more ‘adult’ than juggling jobs, kids and free time. But I still don’t really FEEL like an adult most of the time. Here’s a list of things of my adulting fails:

• I cannot keep on top of clean washing. There are always piles of it to be put away, and I should mention that our washer dryer is no more than ten feet away from our bedrooms, so really there is no excuse!
• I cannot reverse or parallel park without breaking into a sweat, swearing and attempting the manoeuvre about three times. Then I’m quite often 2 feet from the curb. If the kids are in the car and I get annoyed Athena will pipe up with “Maybe Daddy should do it?”
• I never open official looking envelopes from banks or utility companies. I let them pile up until eventually no more will fit in the letter rack and I have to open them, and then when I do I barely glance at them. Thinking about money makes me cringe, I avoid it at all costs!
• I quite often don’t eat dinner, and scoff a whole packet of oreos or similar during the evening. At last four nights a week I do dinner/bedtime with the kids on my own as Sam is at work. By the time that ordeal is over I’m too exhausted to do anything for myself and need to crack on with work. I should try and eat more with the kids but that 15 minute period of them scoffing dinner is often the only chance I get to empty the dishwasher, sort their clothes out for the next day and do a quick clean up in the house whilst they’re occupied.
• I rarely manage to use a diary past the end of March. This year had a long summer break and I started using it again in September only to have not used it for a few weeks again already.
• My mum still texts me to remind me of family birthdays in case I don’t remember to send a card.
• I genuinely didn’t really understand how mortgages work until I had to apply for one, all the types went over my head and I had to really bloody concentrate to understand what we were doing. This is even though I’d class myself as business savvy,  managing a business with a 4 million pound profit before kids.
• I am completely incapable of buying bin bags. They either don’t fit round the top of our bin, or they do but only fill half of it. Or they break and split if you so  much as scrape one plate of food into it. If I do manage to buy the right type you can be rest assured I’ll buy three packs next time thinking they’re the same ones and they’ll be wrong again.
• I don’t do ‘Wine O’clock’. In fact I rarely drink at home and if I do it’ll be cider. I see people celebrating getting the kids in bed with a glass of wine and think, oh, how lovely! But it just doesn’t appeal to me so I never do anything about it!