Part one of my occasional series on annoyances is Facebook. I’m just going to list what irritates me about it, there’s a lot! If I could get away with print screening and blanking out peoples names I would, but although hardly anyone in my ‘real life’ is aware that I blog I wouldn’t risk it! So, be offended or don’t… here’s my honest list of what really grinds my gears about Facebook!

  • My #1 hate is ‘vaguebooking’. Here’s an example:
‘I can’t believe he did it AGAIN’
response: oh hunni whats up (from about 7 different people, in different wording including the inevitable ‘I’ll sort him out for ya’ type responses)
poster: can’t say on here babes, DM me.
If I see this the person gets unfriended. If you’re that angry then here’s an idea, talk to the person you have a problem with!
  • Couples on Facebook: Similar to the above is couples or friends having full on arguments publicly on Facebook is annoying, surely you wouldn’t argue if you had friends over, why is this different? Also, people who post multiple statuses every day about how they’re missing their girlfriend/husband or whoever, and tag them. I don’t know, perhaps you could call or text them and tell them.
  • People with ‘comical’ names and joint Facebook accounts. Jane ‘princess’ Smith. Johnandjayne smith. Jane <<{*biatch*}>> Smith. Why on earth would you want to share an account? I understand why some people use an abbreviation of their name, or use their middle name and not their last, teachers and others who do not wish to be easily discovered. In fact I don’t use my full  double barrelled (and rare) surname as I didn’t like the fact that people I only mixed with professionally would be able to find me so easily. I use initials now, for my surname. And random symbols etc is so MSN Messenger circa 1998.
  • Bad/lazy grammar and text speak:
Another One Of Them Days!! ….’ How is it even easy to type a capital at the start of each word, not to mention use of ‘them’ and ‘those’… argh.
‘Snotty&Grotty …..’ Adding .com to end end of anything is lame, adding a forward slash is worse, and making it ‘'<<** is just wrong. I can’t for the life of me remember which advert started the .com phenomenon on facebook but I really hate whoever came up with it!
 ‘yeah she came round why I was there’ WHY AND WHILE ARE TWO DIFFERENT WORDS. This came from someone I went to school with from year 3 up, I know you know the difference, you got a C at GCSE!
  • People who update their status as ‘oh it’s quarter to ten’ and other thrilling nuggets of information such as ‘eastenders is amazing tonight’ or ‘forgot to get petrol’ (I have seen these three in the last 2 days alone!)
  • Girls who are ‘married’ to other girls on Facebook when they’re straight. I don’t understand this? Is it not enough for you to tag your BFF in your status three times a day just to make sure we all know you’re joined at the hip?
  • People who use their status as a message to someone and just tag them instead of going to that persons wall or sending them a message, HIGHLY annoying.
  • Any status that appears via ‘status shuffle’ earns the poster an immediate unfriend. They were funny for about 3 seconds, if you can’t think of your own witty status then here’s a thought… don’t bother!
  • When everyone changes their profile picture to a giraffe/cartoon animal/ their famous ‘lookalike’ for some naff reason.
  • Those ridiculous things women post: “I like it by the stairs/door” SERIOUSLY NO! The men who are friends with you on Facebook do not give two shits where you keep your handbag/shoes and they know it is not about where you like to get jiggy.
  • Invites. To play games, to like a completely irrelevant page. Invites when the person invites all their friends, when its likely more than three quarters cannot or wouldn’t want to attend the opening of their bag of crisps or whatever event it is. Invites that are relevant are welcome, but I often miss them because of the rest of them!
  • Pictures of sick kids holding signs saying ‘my dad said they doctors might cure me if I get 1 million likes’ this is wrong on so many levels. I also dislike seeing poorly treated or tortured animals.
I much prefer twitter, can you tell?

15 thoughts on “Annoyances: Facebook

  1. This is hilarious! Please carry on 🙂 This is worthy of a Joy the Baker podcast discussion imo. Oh, and I am guilty of one of your complaints – the doppleganger picture! However, it was not in response to a mass charity thing or whatever – please don’t unfriend me! 😉

  2. YES to all of these! And also (I’m probably going to hell for this), people who have a photo of their child as their profile picture. A photo of them WITH their child, fine, but just the child? That’s not you – it’s your kid. I don’t get it… x

  3. Sally I completely agree!! It is your Facebook not your child’s! I have so many friends who do this. Finally getting it out in the open is such a relief!

  4. So true, I hate it when people fish for compliments
    Poster: I’m so ugly
    People who respond: No babes, you’re stunning…..BLAH BLAH BLAH
    Me (in my head): yes you are ugly inside and out.

  5. THIS. Oh god. All of this. There’s always the delightful – “lolz, I’m gonna get wasted tonight!” *Next day* 15 statuses about their hangover. And of course, everyone’s favourite. Bit Strips. They make me want to hurt things.

  6. Lmao, I think I’m guilty of a lot of these due to boredom and being vague. However, one of them things I do because I can’t type on her wall, I often say things to be my best friend because her settings on fb are so high no one can write on her wall.

    There are loads on here I do agree with and made me laugh though!

  7. I agree with every single one if these! I feel irritated just reading this post and thinking of all the times I’ve read stuff like this. X

  8. Oh my god this is SPOT on!! Couldn’t have put it better myself. Another thing that bugs me is pouty selfies that people have obviously spent hours perfecting. Love a good rant…bring on part 2! X

  9. Oh my god this is SPOT on!! Couldn’t have put it better myself. Another thing that bugs me is pouty selfies that people have obviously spent hours perfecting. Love a good rant…bring on part 2! X

  10. I love this article, although I am guilty of being a giraffe and still haven’t got round to changing my profile picture back because I just forget. The other one that really annoys me is people sharing posts that are either hoaxes, or so out of date that they may as well be a hoax.

  11. Oh god, this SO MUCH! The joint account thing is a particular bugbear of mine – it’s like, are you not capable of having your own, or do you feel like being part of a couple defines you?! Really rubbish Facebook trends really irritate me too, like the ‘I like it by the door’ and giraffe things. Love this post! x

  12. Ha ha, love it! I do admit that my updates are not always (or ever) interesting, so I have definitely committed a few of these! I recently did a post about my gripes with Facebook too if you fancy taking a look!

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