[my wedding related posts were going to be ‘wedding wonders’ but this is more woeful]
I didn’t want a big white wedding. I didn’t want a wedding at all in fact. I had no desire to get married before meeting Sam, and mainly I agreed because it really means a lot to him. He’s rather an old fashioned chap when it boils down to it, you don’t meet many 24 (just 23 when he asked!) year old men who WANT to get married at this age, especially ones who haven’t had a long term relationship before. Obviously if I didn’t want to get married I wouldn’t be, so there is no arm twisting or anything like that going on, and believe me I wear the trousers normally! I just wasn’t the little girl that planned her big day from the age of ten… I was too busy climbing trees and jumping in puddles (still do!)
So anyway, I said yes, and we discussed what we really wanted. I wanted to run away to a beach somewhere, he wanted a big day where all attention is on us. We talked about meeting in the middle somewhere, and we also talked about a budget. clearly I lost (doesn’t happen often!) as somehow we are having a White Wedding, in a church with 85 of our nearest and dearest eyeballing us all day. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not shy of being in the spotlight or anything like that, I just don’t see why having a big old hoo-ha of a wedding is necessary. I love him, He loves me, here’s a ring, sign the paper, job done, it should be that simple, and for many people it is. But I know that this day means a lot to him and therefore I am sacrificing (potentially too harsh a word there) a lot of money and stress to plan the ‘perfect’ day. It is taking it out of me, that’s for sure! I am losing precious spare time to planning, and experiencing sleepless nights due to untold worries flying around my head (not all of them are wedding related, but many!)
I have less than 5 months to go and I have a dress, shoes, and the church is booked. I also have an amazing photographer
Still to do: confirm reception venue, confirm caterer, design/make invites, pick a hotel to stay at, decide what to do about a gift list, Bridesmaid dresses, Sam’s kilt, pick hymns, DJ?, decor, make bouquet, cake? puddings? (I am doing desserts myself because I am a cake fiend) honeymoon? cars? Have our Banns read at our parish church, and the church we are getting married in. Choose rings. Design the order of service, decide on music (to walk in to, to walk out, to do out first dance to) and everything else…
This week we finally got a quote back from a community centre/church that is a gorgeous space, right in the centre of town (5 minutes walk from our own church where the ceremony is) We had been waiting a while for the quote, and when we met the lady originally I thought I had made it clear that I didn’t want fancy frou frou and decor, that I liked the room pretty much exactly how it was, and I also made it clear that we were on a limited budget and was told that she thought the cost would be on a par with the smaller seafront hotels. Fair enough I thought, lets wait and see. Suffice to say shocked didn’t cover it. I was away in Bristol at the time and rang Sam in a proper strop, who to give him his due immediately got on the phone to call the hotels in Brighton to arrange viewings of their rooms. We had two on Saturday, and both came back at at LEAST a grand under the quote for the community centre, and include food and drink (which the centre did not!) and these are two of the biggest hotels, not the tin pot ones! So we have a meeting on Monday to discuss the quote, but I think it will be a fairly swift conversation. Which is a shame as I love the space, but I am not willing to part with that much money (money that I don’t have, by the way, as we are self funding the our wedding) for ONE NIGHT.
We did have a lovely conversation with our vicar this morning however, who said that the option of having the reception in the church was still open to us and that it would be perfect, no traipsing about in potential rain (or snow!) they’re very used to holding them there and virtually no extra decor would be needed as the church itself is stunning anyway, it is also ridiculously less expensive than anywhere else.
I am overwhelmed by some of the weddings I see on Wedding blogs, so much so that I have started to ‘mark all posts as read’ recently for fear of feeling even more inadequate and un prepared. Admittedly lots of these weddings are things of beauty, with glorious photography and miles of bunting, cupcakes and bales of hay and moustaches on sticks. However I have a full time job, that isn’t a bog standard 9-5 that enables me to forgot about my job as soon as I walk out of the door. Running a huge hotel that is open 24/7 is no mean feat and often I am so drained after a day at work that the last thing I want to do is go home and whip up a a colour coded spread sheet for the guest list, or start gluing diamantes (urgh) onto things or painstakingly labelling cocktail sticks or some of the other things I’ve seen people have done for their weddings. I had a notebook that I was writing ideas in for the table decor, but the list got so long and ridiculous that I closed the notebook and shoved it under a pile of books, out of sight out of mind.
We are hoping to make decision by the end of this week on exactly where we will have the reception, and then I can sort myself out a nice easy to manage (HA!) to do list and get to it. I know that my friends will help me with bits and bobs, and already have been offering words of support and for that I am eternally grateful!
Reading this back makes me sound like I detest the fact that I am getting married, and I really don’t at all. I just wish it was all plain sailing and easy decisions. Don’t even get me started on the table plan, with two sets of divorced parents that one is going to be tricky…
Please feel free to share your wedding planning horror stories with me, I could do with cheering up at someone else’s expense! 😉