After 13 months I think I am ready. The idea of going back to work and not being with Athena all day was an awful one, in the early months. Now, I think both she and I will benefit from some time apart, and I’m not afraid to say it either! There are days when I find keeping her entertained a real struggle, she never sits still and is into everything and I find myself taking her for increasingly long walks so that she is strapped into the buggy and I don’t have to stop her from emptying my cupboards and drawers and leaving cute little baby hand prints all over the walls. I think this is a normal part of motherhood, hence why I am not afraid to publish my thoughts about it.
So despite ranting and raving and making it a new years resolution to not go back to work, I am going back to work and I’m looking forward to it, shock horror!
Yes, of course I love her with all of my heart and sometimes when she has finally fallen asleep I secretly wish she would wake up so I can interact with her. BUT, I need some me time and i’m sure she does too. Whenever she plays with other babies she is in her element, and watching her interact with other people is a joy for me. So i’m sure she’ll be happy at nursery when she starts, all that messy play and other babies with hair to pull… it’s her idea of heaven and I don’t have to clean anything up.
Of course, my decision is partly for financial reasons too although we could cope with just Sam’s salary if we really scrimped and started eating rice for every other meal… but it is mainly because I do miss the hustle and bustle of work. Getting half an hour on the train each way will be truly me time, I plan to divide it between reading and writing blog posts but in reality will probably doze. I am going back 3 days a week, so I will have Friday to Monday with Athena, and work Tuesday to Thursday. My mum will have her on a Wednesday and she will go to a lovely friendly local nursery for two days. I have stepped down from my position as the hotel manager, after a long chat with my area manager. I am so pleased that the person who covered my maternity leave is getting my position permanently as he is good at the job and has made a lot of changes since I left (good ones!) of course he was trained by the best, ha-ha! Of course, it will be strange going back into an environment where I was top dog and not being so, but I’ll get used to it! The main thing I am concerned about is that I won’t be able to stop sticking my oar in with what I would do in a situation, so I need to learn to keep my trap shut until my advice is asked for (this will be hard, I talk too much).
So now I get all the best bits that I loved from my old position (spread sheets, forecasting, profit and loss, Human resources and most importantly full control of the stationery budget!) and none of the shit things like phone calls in the middle of the night because someone has set the place on fire, angry screaming guests first thing on a Monday morning or flooded hotels full of people on their summer holidays (all things I have dealt with). I am however on a lot less money, but hey we can’t have it all and a work life balance is what i’m after and I think (fingers crossed!) I will achieve it as much as is within my reach anyway!
So I plan to make the most of these last 6 weeks, it helped that I get my bonus at the end of this month (truly money for nothing!) as my maternity money ended 3 months ago! I have a couple of trips to London planned and plan to spend as much time outside enjoying the sun before I’m stuck in my office again! (Another perk is that the new manager hates my loves 5th floor office with views over Brighton so I get to myself again!)
I am aware that they first few weeks (months?) will be tricky though, so please do link me to any posts you have written about your experiences, or leave me some words of wisdom below!